From Jealousy to Admiration

Are you up for a quick experiment to learn more about yourself? Imagine you work at an office where pretty much everyone has the same level job. You know that a new big position is being created and one of your co-workers or you will be selected for it. It’s going to be a coveted promotion that comes with a substantial raise, multiple benefits and your own corner office. Exciting times!! The decision day comes. The CEO walks in and announces the name of the person who got the position. But wait, it is not you!

Now, stop and observe yourself at this second. What feeling did just surface? Anger? Jealousy? Disbelief? Or was it a hint of disappointment coupled with sincere happiness for your co-worker because deep down you knew this person to be the most qualified one for the position?

That split second reaction to the news will reveal the results of our little experiment. It will bring to light parts of your inner states you might not have been aware of. What’s the big deal? Why is this important? Go back to the moment of the announcement again. This time, intentionally react in a positive way and feel the happiness for your co-worker. See yourself hugging and congratulating her. How does it feel? Can you not feel a flow of warm, positive energy right now?

There is a secret! If your inner state is that of envying others, being jealous of their success, considering them undeserving (even unconsciously), that inner state is blocking your own success and happiness. It’s like a dam holding the flow of positive energy into your life. If you weren’t aware of this before, you know it now and you can do something about it. This simple paradigm shift can be transformative and it will lead you to a happier life.

Here goes the simple shift. Replace jealousy with admiration! Read the preceding sentence again. How simple! Admire the people that are doing better than you. Be happy for them. Wish them even further success. As a matter of fact, wish everyone you know to be successful! Wish them to be healthy, happy and prosperous. Use every opportunity to compliment someone. Do this sincerely, from the bottom of your heart. Live this way day in and day out. It is such a fulfilling, meaningful and happy way of life. This in itself is a reason enough to make that paradigm shift. Before getting to the other byproducts and consequences, let’s look at the practical formula.

Here are 3 simple steps to start implementing the change today illustrated by the example of the scenario above.

1. Watch and be aware of your reactions. You can do nothing about something you are not aware of. (Realize that you got upset by the co-worker being selected for promotion.)

2. Switch your reactions. The moment you observe yourself reacting negatively, switch it to positive. (Switch the disappointment to admiration and appreciation, congratulate her.)

3. Flourish your reactions. Expand on that positive reaction by taking additional voluntary actions. (Get her a congratulatory card or flowers later to show how sincerely happy you are for her.) Do not underestimate the importance of the third step!

When this flow of energy starts pouring out of your heart, it does something to you. You are no longer a person concerned with limited ideas of personal gain. You are no longer confined to your own little world. You have grown exponentially as a person, your heart is always swollen with love. With this state you can no longer hide from success as success will find you without you even looking for it. Let today be the beginning of your new life!