What is life all about? How should it be lived? How can we suffer less and enjoy life more? These are probably questions we don’t ask ourselves every day. Instead, we go about our routines, doing the same things, wishing everything was better, complaining about whatever is going on that we don’t like. And yet, merely by asking ourselves these simple questions daily, the quality of our lives will improve dramatically. You may not have all the best answers right away, but you will get better responses each time you ask.
In hopes of providing a shortcut and head start to answer these questions, here are some lessons I’ve learned that have worked well in my own life:
1. Stop worrying and have faith. If you constantly worry about the future and suffer because of it, you are like most of us. “What if I lose my job? What if I can’t make my rent payment? What if something happens to my loved ones? What if…? What if…? Thoughts like these are bound to make us worry and suffer. Did you catch the most important part of the previous sentence? “Thoughts” are the key focus. What are thoughts? Where are thoughts? They are only in our minds, and not in manifest reality. Therefore, why worry about hypothetical scenarios, products of our imagination that may never happen? Learn to have faith that everything will work out, and let your concept of a higher power worry about the future. Your job is to focus on the present—the now—this very moment. Live in the eternal moment and worries about the future will not get to you.
2. Question the conventional idea of success. What do you think of when you hear the word success? Fame, money, possessions, titles, awards, recognition? We have been brainwashed from an early age to believe that this is exactly what constitutes success. But is it really? If it were, why would so many famous rich people and celebrities be so miserable, to the point of taking their own lives? That doesn’t sound very successful. I’m sure you can think of many examples. Then, what is success? True success is being happy with who you are, as you are every moment. It’s living in constant gratitude regardless of outside circumstances. It’s the ability and the skill to enjoy life no matter what it throws at you. Get better at this and conventional success may become a byproduct of your new lifestyle!
3. Start doing things that make you happy. We all have a limited number of years on this earth. Why waste time on activities that make you unhappy, activities that you feel like you are compelled to do, the ones that drain your energy? Of course, your job may be one of them, or an activity that you dislike but must do for your loved ones. Even if you have these obligations, you can start reserving some time in your day for activities that make you feel happy. Maybe it’s just walking, exercising, reading, meditating, painting, playing with your dog, going to the beach, etc. Ask yourself what you enjoy doing most and start intentionally adding those activities into your daily life. You may be surprised at the difference it makes in your state of mind and well-being.
4. Bring happiness to others. This is perhaps one of the most underrated prescriptions for joy. That’s because we always focus on ourselves, our well-being, our gains and our success. Paradoxically, quite often this is exactly what keeps us from achieving success and happiness. Just like a dark room becomes brighter the more candles are lit, in the same way, your life will become brighter the more happiness you bring to others. I’m sure you’ve experienced this before. If you gave money to a homeless person, helped a friend in need, left an extra generous tip or served the community in a charity project, you know the feeling I’m talking about. You feel good when you do good! Why not become intentional about it? If you are in a mindset of serving others, you will see opportunities everywhere. You cannot act with kindness and feel down at the same time. It’s impossible! Therefore, feeling better about yourself is just one act of kindness away!
5. Fall in love with your life. When you look at the lives of others—who are perhaps wealthier, more successful and seemingly more accomplished with a higher quality of life—you instinctively start wishing you had their life. This wish may sometimes have a trace of jealousy tied to it, along with a corresponding sour taste. You may not be living the life you dreamed of right now. You may not be where you want to be. Your life may be filled with problems that you can’t seem to overcome. And yet, this is YOUR life, not someone else’s. It’s the only one you have right now. Your life is the only one you will be living.
The events in your life can and will change, so stop worrying about them. Instead, fall in love with your life the way it is right now. Accept it, embrace it, become thankful for it. Act like you are living the life you prayed for. Don’t let doubts creep into your mind. Just do it, feel genuine gratitude for this very moment in your life. Gratitude fills you with feelings of abundance, happiness and love. No lack can be experienced in the state of gratitude. If you learn to accept and love your life exactly the way it is now, don’t be surprised when you start noticing positive external changes. They are bound to happen!
If you take nothing else away from this article, at least remember the main theme that ran through all five lessons. Your experience of life—your level of happiness and enjoyment—is entirely tied to your internal state; it’s not the other way around. The more grateful you feel inside, regardless of the circumstances, the more the circumstances will change on the outside to conform to your state of being.
From this day forward, put all your focus on how you feel in each moment. Pretend that your only job in life is to feel good right now—because it is. Accept your life, embrace your life, fall in love with your life and feel great right now. You’ve got this!
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